Stories told to not date me

So it's been awhile since I've posted. As much as I said I wanted off the emotional roller coaster, I really wanted to spend some time torturing myself with the way things ended. There is no one on earth who can make me feel worse than I make myself feel. Except my mom. She can give it a good run. But that's an entirely different blog. 

Back to this blog. I spent a good portion of the last two months doubting who I am because I abandoned someone in their time of need. Anyone who knows me knows, knows that's not who I am. (People who know me, feel free to leave kind posts.) So it really shook me. Made me wonder if I was rash and impulsive. If maybe I compromised my values. But today the universe told me to get my head out of my ass. 

Basically this individual told me he thought he had cancer and couldn't handle a relationship right now. When he said this, I calmly let him leave. But after a few weeks it became apparent he really wanted to keep me on the hook and treat me like crap in the process. I called him on it. Said I sympathized but since he wanted me out so he got it. And cut it off.

Afterwards I felt this sadness for what might have been. This guilt for not being more supportive. This emptiness. I was consumed with thoughts about him. Wondering is he ok? Am I a horrible person? Should I have fought harder? Was standing up for myself a huge mistake? Today I got my answer. 

He's fine. He's back with the girl that he was with immediately before confessing his undying love to me. (Seriously this guy changes love interests more often than I change my sheets.) It wasn't that he couldn't handle a relationship. It was just that he didn't want to be with me. Lightbulb!!

So thank you universe for giving me the closure I needed to realize I am in fact an incredible person and he is in fact a selfish douche bag.